How the Rain Forest Ruined Izzie Stevens' Life
by RunningWithScalpels78
Summary: I haven't had sex in five years. Oh Izzie what are you up to now? Parings you ask. I'm not gonna tell.
1. Friends make life harder

**I hate that I have to start another story. This idea has been bothering me. So much that I can't write anything else. It's an itch I can't not scratch anymore. So I'm done. Here story. You win. I surrender. Please review. It will do my weary soul good to get lots of reviews. I need to speak with the Team, but I can't seem to find them. Any thoughts on that?**

**Disclaimer: I so own everything, and by everything I mean my Grey's DVD's. Seriously bought them myself. As for everything else the only character I own is that one you will find out about later on, but Shonda is welcome to share. I don't mind one bit. Heck take him and use all the credit for yourself. Really. It would make me happy. I don't own Boston or Seattle. Well maybe I do if the land belongs to the American people, but they do belong to the U.S. of A. I also don't own the rainforest. That apparently belongs to development groups. **

I haven't had sex in five years. Not that that's really a big huge deal. A lot of people don't have sex for years, but most people don't choose to be celibate. I don't have sex with just anyone. I have to be involved. Don't get me wrong I love it just as much as the next person...maybe even more which is a bit disturbing, but that's a whole different story. So here's the interesting part. I have sex with people with whom I'm involved, but the last realationship I had was almost six years ago. I can see the wheels turning already. I haven't been in a relationship in 6 years. (More like 5 and 3/4) I had sex five years ago almost to the day. So know your wondering who did I have a one night stand with. Well no one. I had a one night stand that lasted through the next day and night and day after that. So technically almost a Weekend stand. Cut me a break I was leaving. I was slightly inebriated and he was my friend. They only friend that understood my secret pain and why I had to make a fresh start. Now here is the real shocker. Even more shocking than the whole no sex for five years by choice. I have a son. This son I have is exactly four years and three months old. Yes my weekend stand with my friend turned into nine months of pregnancy followed by diapers and baby things. I always wanted to tell my friend. He would want to know. It's one of those things we discussed when we weren't preoccupied that weekend. The problem you see is that he went to the rainforest or something of that nature. Now wouldn't you know it I'm going back to Seattle for Meredith's wedding to Derek Shepherd, and who so conveniently decides to show up there a mere two days before I leave Boston? Him. I'm beginning to think they were all lying to me when they said they didn't know how to reach him. So I have to figure out a way to tell him before my..._our_...son gives it away. It's not like he would just go up and say "Hey. Your my dad." He wouldn't have to say anything. Sure he has my smile and light skin, but that's pretty much it. He has beautiful dark hair and his father's smirk. But even those things can be attributed to another man. It's his eyes. They are piercing and beautiful. In two days...count them two. I have to change two people's life forever. Damn you stupid alcohol and ridiculous hormones. But you rainforest damn you straight to the seventh circle of hell.

So naturally I decided that today the day before I change the world, I would go to confession. Maybe God will forgive me. Although I'm sure by now he's tired of me asking.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. I has been a week since my last confession."

"Isobel my child what could you have possibly done?"

"I damned the rainforest."

"Do you feel as if that will cause the rainforest to disappear?"

"No I just feel bad about it. That and I have to go to Seattle."

"I thought you were looking forward to it."

"I was until I found out _he_ was going to be there." He was always a topic of confessional conversation.

"Oh. I see. Have you talked to your son about it?"

"He's barely four. He's so innocent. I didn't want to just spring this on him."

"I know you don't. You're his mother so you want to protect him, but he's his father. He deserves to know." I had no idea which he that the father was referring to.

"I guess what I really wanted was for you to pray for me father."

"You are always in my prayers, Isobel."

"Thank You."

Confession wasn't so bad. It was kind of calming and comforting knowing I could count on someone else to care about me. Sure I had my son, but...Wait you are probably wondering what his name is. The thing is I knew I couldn't give him his father's last name, and it would be too weird for them to have the same first name so I settled for the next best thing. Now those of you paying attention are going to catch this right away. Milo Isaac Stevens. Milo Stevens. M. S. I know what your thinking. Trust me I got a few looks, but he's the kind of kid that can pull it of. He's beautiful. That and I watched way to much Gilmore Girls while I was at the end of my pregnancy. The name meant something to me and with the restrictions I gave myself I was running out of options. Trust me on this one. It did take me three days to come up with it. Now here I am staring at his door with his name in script across it. I cautiously open it.

"Hey buddy."

"Mommy!"

"It's good to see you to." His little arms were firmly wrapped around my legs. He didn't even know how wrapped around his finger I was.

"Mommy look. I drew an airpane."

"I see that. Sweetie can I talk to you for a second." Ok no. He had to look trustingly into my eyes with his piercing gaze. This was going to be so hard. "You know how we are going to see Aunt Meredith and Uncle Derek in Seattle tomorrow?"

"Uh huh."

"Well remember how I told you your daddy was away in the rainforest helping people."

"Uh huh."

"Well he is going to be there. In Seattle."

"Weally?" His brilliant eyes lit up. This was so freaking hard.

"Remember how he doesn't know about how you were born, because he was in the rainforest and I had no way to tell him."

"Yes." Then he held up his finger to me. This was something of mine he had picked up. He walked to his bookshelf and took the light blue photo album that was full of his pictures and important things such as the DVD's of his first steps and words and even the documentary on the potty training debacle. I never missed an opportunity. This album was specifically for his father, and he knew that. He looked back into my eyes and handed me the album. That's how I knew that no matter how screwed up this became. In the end it would be ok. I have no idea how, but it will be.

* * *

Ok who's clever and figured out who the poppa is? I know I fooled maybe one person. Right? Reviews are my crack Don't deny me. Please. 


	2. Cute boys have bad timing

**I love being harrassed by my brain. I also love reviews and you have all be quiet generous. Thank you. So for all of you waiting on pins and needles thank my muse for kicking so hard. I have already started chapter three. I can't be stopped. At this rate it'll be finished in a week.**

I have never been fond of airplanes. There was something unnerving about being thousands of feet in the air when your body wasn't designed to be. While I may have been tense and uneasy, Milo bounced around happy as ever. He often told complete strangers of how he would one day make planes and music. With two surgeons as parents you would think he would be obligated to want to be a doctor, but no. Airplanes and Music. Those were his loves. While I have no idea where airplanes came from, the music I can attribute to myself. I had Majored in Biology and double minored in Chemistry and Music in college. Stop. Don't even think it. I know I'm insane. Now back to the plane ride. I also don't like riding in tiny spaces over long distances because it gives my mind to much time to run uninterrupted for hours. I usually watch inflight movies or play with toys with my son, but it seemed silly to play with plastic dinosaurs while he was fast asleep. He fell asleep at about the halfway point which was totally fine, because it was his bed time in Boston. We had to leave late on account of my need to check on all may patients at the hospital before I was gone for a week. Now every thing is settled and I can deal with much bigger things like Meredith's wedding and telling the father of my child, well that he's the father of my child. Oh happy day.

The taxi ride to Meredith's seemed longer somehow. Perhaps because it wasn't filled with a thousand questions born of a child's curiosity. He seemed at ease here, just like _him_. Everything was easy to him. He didn't freak out like I did. Now I could here humming. Remember that love of music I spoke of? Did I mention it was classical? He adores classical music, and right now I recognize the humming sounded an awful lot like Pines of Rome. You know Fantasia 2000. The one with the whale family. Right. Most kids his age love songs like If You're Happy and You Know it. The humming did calm me down though. It was normal. I realized that the car had stopped moving. I paid the driver and we made our way up the front steps. He looked up at me when we got to the door.

"Are you ready for this?" He answered me with a smile. I knocked on the door. I heard laughing and crashing and running coming from the other side. Now his little face was full of concern. I had to take a deep breath. Milo looked exactly like him at that moment. I was saved from myself when the door opened revealing a glowing Meredith Grey.

"Izzie!"

"Hey Meredith."

"I haven't seen you in so long."

"It was a month." Her smile was contagious.

"It seems longer, and Milo I swear you have gotten bigger." His smile returned as Meredith crouched down and addressed him.

"Nope."

"Did someone say Milo? As in my favorite almost nephew?"

"Uncle Dewek!"

"It can't be. You are to big to be him."

"It is me." He ran to Derek. He was his favorite person in all the world.

"Can you keep an eye on him while I help Izzie here get all this stuff upstairs?"

"Sure. We'll be fine. Right Ace?"

"Wight."

We trudged up the stairs and I opened the door to my old room. Meredith had left it the same after I left. It was nice.

"So how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. I just have no idea how I'm going to tell him."

"Trust me you won't have to. It's like looking at a mini clone. Except when he smiles like that. Then he looks like you."

"So what your saying is we have to keep him smiling?"

"Izzie."

"I know, but I have time before I see him."

"Actually..."

"What."

"I might have accidentally invited him to stay here."

"Oh no."

"I couldn't let him stay at the hotel, and I wasn't thinking, and oh Iz I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should have gone to South America as soon as I found out."

"Izzie no one knew where he was and it's a pretty big continent. You can't blame yourself. It's just one of those things that happens."

"So no one's at fault?"

"We could blame the kids he went to help if you want to."

"Somehow that seems wrong."

"Yep." Suddenly Derek and Milo burst through the door. I looked at the clock and decided that I should put him in bed or he would be cranky in the morning.

"It's bed time for you buddy."

"Noooo."

"I'm afraid so. You can play with Uncle Derek all day tomorrow. You don't want to be sleepy."

"I won't."

"Sorry guys. He's being difficult."

"We'll just go downstairs. Goodnight Milo."

I pulled out the dinosaur pj's and his toothbrush followed by his favorite book. _Where the Wild Things Are_. It took another five minutes of pleading on his part and persuading on my part before he reluctantly headed to the bathroom to take a quick bath, change, and brush his teeth. Finally he was ready for bed and I started to read the story of another difficult little boy named Max. He was out before I was finished. I took the opportunity to take a shower myself. I was vaguely aware of the doorbell ringing as I climbed under the warm spray. I prayed that it wasn't him. If only I could be so lucky.

Seattle was just as I remembered it. I'm not sure why after spending years in practically the rainforest I decided to come back here. The closest thing America had to a rainforest. Now that I was at Meredith's house I felt suddenly uneasy. I quickly rang the doorbell. I was immediately greeted by Meredith. She was exactly the same as I remembered her.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"It's not to late you can still run away with me. Derek doesn't have to know."

"You haven't changed a bit."

"It was worth a shot."

"Come on you look worn out. I'll show you to your room."

"Are we going there alone?" I smiled at her suggestively. It was all in good fun.

"No someone's already upstairs."

"Oh really? Who would that be?"

"An old friend of mine that you may remember. Isobel Stevens." I felt my breath catch. It'd be forever since I had let myself think about her.

"I haven't seen her in a while."

"Here we are. Now I'm going back downstairs. Derek should be back in a little bit he went to get some cooking supplies. He's hopeful I guess."

"Conning Izzie into cooking."

"It's not like I know how."

"I'm sure you could learn."

"Right. Well have fun."

Fun. Right. I unpacked something, and tried not to focus on the room directly across from mine. The one Izzie would sleep in. I remember how awfully we had left things. I wanted to see her now though. I quickly and quietly before I had time to change my mind walked across the room and tapped on the door. I waited. And waited. No answer came. I turned the doorknob and peeked inside. It was dark except for a soft nightlight. Was she asleep? My eyes focused slowly to the dim room. It looked exactly how I remembered it. Finally I could see that she wasn't in the bed. She wasn't, but the bed was not unoccupied. In the middle of the Queen sized bed was a small child. A little boy. I walked closer. I was curious now. Izzie had a child. When? With who? Why did he care so much? It was very uncharacteristic. I made it a point not to care. I peered down at the little boy. There was something overly familiar about him. He couldn't have been more than four. It seemed that she had moved on right away in Boston, Mass. Not that I cared. Because I didn't. The it hit me. He looked kind of like well...me. And if he was four that put him at just the right age. No. He wasn't my son. There was no way. We had used protection and it just wasn't a possibility. It hit me then that I kind of wanted him to be. That was unsettling. It had be something I secretly wanted since the incident. I pushed it aside and ignored it most of the time, but here was this child that was just the right age and looked very similar to me. The want was a bit alarming. I sat down gently on the bed as not to wake him. I had to regain my composure. I would never forgive myself if I went off throwing around accusations at Izzie. I realized that the door had opened and there wrapped in nothing but a towel was Isobel Stevens. She if possible looked better than even I remembered. Of course the last time I saw her she was heartbroken and looking for a quick fix.

ohmygodohmygodohmygod. He was sitting only inches away from the person I wasn't ready for him to meet. I couldn't breathe. How could this be happening? I suddenly remembered that I was only in a towel. I pulled it tighter around my body. I took in a deep calming breath hoping to keep myself from falling into hysterics. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. They were beautiful and piercing and holding me tighter than anything physical ever could. They had been the reason I had chosen him in the first place. They made me forget things. At the time I needed it terribly.

"Izzie?" It was breathless as if he knew the truth already. So I gathered up all my strength, and with every drop of compassion I held in my body I replied.

"Hey. It's good to see you again, Mark."

* * *

So I know some of you are gloating about how awesome you are. Well could you gloat in a review? They make my addiction easier to live with. 


	3. Scratch that Horrible Timing

**I decided just to put this one out here. I never have particularly liked it, but it will get better. Promise. **

A typical response to "It's good to see you again" is "It's good to see you again, too." not bolting from the room. I mean I guess I can't exactly blame him. But I really want to go in there and give him a piece of my mind for being so presumptuous. So what if he is right. It doesn't give him a right to run away. I mean he was in the freakin' rainforest for five years. I should be the one that's upset. I shouldn't be so hard on him, but still.

I probably shouldn't have left her room without responding, but I suddenly felt overwelmed. I wouldn't put it past her to come in here and give me a piece of her mind. I guess I would deserve it, but how did she honestly expect me to respond. I guess I really shouldn't be assuming things. Why am I assuming things? That kid probably has nothing to do with me. It was dark and I'm tired. I'll just have to deal with this new found information that my mind would actually play that trick. This is crazy. I'm going to sleep. I'll just explain I was looking for her and suddenly I didn't feel so hot. She can't exactly argue with that.

knock, knock Shit. Couldn't she wait.

creak "Hey"

"Um sorry about that. I suddenly had the urge to..."

"It's fine."

"Okay."

"Can we sit down?"

"Sure."

"So how have you been? How was South America?"

"I'm fine. South America is full of people that needed my help."

"Five years is a really long time."

"Well I didn't have anything that needed me back here."

"I guess." It grew quiet. I knew she wanted to discuss something. That's the only time Izzie made small talk.

"Is there something that you..."

"Just ask me."

"Ask you?"

"Mark you weren't sick. I should kick your ass for being presumptuous but I'm going to give you a chance here so ask me."

"Ok. How old is he?"

"He turned four three months ago."

"What's his name?"

"Milo. Why don't you just ask me what you really want to know?"

"Because I'm not sure if it's what I want to know." It came out sharper than I had intended, and it surprised me because it was the truth. She tensed up visible beside me, but remained silent making no attempt to say anything further. I had a choice to make. Was I ready for the possibility that he was?

"Mark?" She asked tentatively.

"Is he...Who is his...Am I his father?" I hated being this unsure of myself. It wasn't very charming.

"Yes." Suddenly I was angry.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why? I tried. By the time I found out you were already gone." She was angry too.

"You should have tried to find me."

"What did you want me to do? Search the entire continent of South America in hopes that I may stumble across you?"

"Yes."

"Now you're being ridiculous. Mark, neither of us knew and at the time. We did what we thought was right. No one's to blame. It's just unfortunate." I could tell that she was completely sincire. I on the other hand wanted to punch something. I missed four years that I couldn't get back. She seemed to sense this. "Wait right here."

"Why?"

"Just wait."

"Sure." It took her less that a minute to return to my side. This time she held a large blue book of sorts. "What is that?" Skepticism was appartent in my voice.

"His baby book. I saved everything for you. I hoped that someday you may comeback." When she smiled at me, I realized that I had missed her more than even Derek while I was gone. We had become great friends before she left. We got each other. I felt bad that this couldn't be just a simple as friends finding each other again. I tried not to think about that and focused on the book she had placed in my hands. She got up to leave.

"I'm going to sleep. I will make Derek take him to the park in the morning. It will give us time to prepare you to meet him." She was standing in the door frame.

"What about him? Won't he need to "prepare"?" She smiled at me.

"He's been prepared to meet you from the first time he asked me about you." And with that she was gone. I leaned back into my pillow and stared at the book. Milo was monogramed across the front. I woke up in that position the following morning.

I couldn't sleep. It wasn't because I was in a room that I hadn't been in in five years, and it wasn't because I had a four year old draped across me. No it had to do with the man down in the other room. He hadn't been some random guy I had had sex with once and accidentally gotten pregnant. He had been my friend, when everyone else had abandoned me. While everyone looked at me oddly when I had cut my long blond hair and dyed it light brown. He had told me I looked hot. I of course rolled my eyes and threatened him with a lawsuit. While no one knew what was going on he seemed to get it and gave me what I needed. He taunted and was an ass. It's how he became at first George's replacement and then a better friend than even George. I hadn't realized it was possible. My mind was going through the months that had lead to that weekend. No one ever found out about my indiscretion with George and he eventually cut me out of his life. I had shown up at my new friend's hotel room and he had listened to me confess my sins. He listened and that had been all the encouragement I had needed. I guess it was that night I decided I wanted to sleep with him. Suddenly the sun was up and I heard Derek walking up the stairs to get back into bed with Meredith. I unwound myself from my son's arms.

"Derek." It was just over a whisper. I contained a laugh at his apperance. His hair was in disarray.

"Izzie? What is it? Is she already awake?"

"No. I need a favor."

"Oh. What."

"Can you take Milo to the park this morning? Mark knows."

"Yeah sure. Give me thirty minutes to get ready."

"Thanks."

"It's not a problem really."

Thirty minutes later true to his word Derek was ready. It hadn't taken Milo long to get up and ready, because it was days like this that he lived for. I hugged him goodbye. He promised to behave and they were gone. Meredith conviniently decided that she need to go to the hospital and told me that tonight I was expected to go out with her and Cristina. Apparently it is a requirement or something. Now I'm surrounding by pans and mixing bowls and various other baking supplies. I needed to calm down in order to help him adjust to this huge life changing event. Baking was alway good. It always worked. I heard him slowly coming down the stairs. My eyes flickered to the door. Waiting. He looked exhausted. He sat down across from me and put the album on the counter.

"Good Morning."

"I can't."

"Can't?"

"Look at this. Not alone."

"Okay. Let me finish this and I'll help you.

"What are you making?"

"Chocolate Chip Cookies."

"Glad it's not muffins. That would be tragic."

"My muffins are amazing."

"I wasn't arguing that point. You just make muffins when you are upset."

"True." I slid the pan into the oven, threw the bowls into the sink and sat down next to him.

"Okay." We sat there nearly five minutes staring at the album. Neither one of us made a move.

"I can't do this for you. I can sit here and even hold your hand if you want, but I can't open it for you."

"I know." I quickly slid my hand into his strong grasp. It was warm and steady. Just the way I remembered it. He took a deep breath and opened the cover. It was the first picture ever taken of him. I felt Mark shaking with silent laughter next to me. I looked at him strangely.

"What?"

"Well it's not funny exactly. It's just that is exactly what I looked like in my first picture." I smiled at him. This was so much easier than I had imagined it. Some how I pictured more screaming and throwing of things. I'm not sure why. It's not as if I hide it from him or he ran away from responsibility. We were victims of circumstance. That is all. He flipped through the pages. Past birthday parties and adventures in the park. I commented on most of the pictures giving him more information than the simple photograph could. We laughed a lot, but I couldn't ignore the sadness that seemed to settle over his face. I felt guilty. Finally we reached the end and the DVD collection I had started there.

"You wanna watch them?"

"I don't know. I don't think we have enough time."

"I'm a tad over zealous I'll admit."

"A tad?"

"Ok a lot." The door opened.

"I think they are back."

"I think you may be right."

"I'll stay here."

"Okay you do that."

I got up to leave him. I felt horrible. I mean he just sat he the past few hours learning about four years of his child's life that he missed. There's no way that could have been remotly easy. I could here happy excited voices and I wondered how long that would last. I can't think about the negative here. I have always been and will remain a glass half full. I took deep breath, and turned the corner putting me in a direct line of vision of Derek and my son. Of course Milo was giggling gleefully as Derek held him upside down by his ankles. He held his little arms out to me.

"Did you two have fun at the park?"

"Yes it was cool."

"Cool huh? Well buddy we need to have a talk."

"I didn't do it."

"I didn't say that you did anything, but that makes me wonder." He looked at me with faux innocence and I put that aside for later inspection.

"What is it?"

"Remember when we talked about who would be here in Seattle?"

"My daddy."

"Yes. He's here and he would like to meet you."

"Where?"

"He's in the kitchen, but..." It was too late he had bolted down the hallway.

"Milo."

I couldn't react fast enough to catch him or beat him to the kitchen. I froze in the door frame in anticipation of what was to come.

I dropped down to his level on the balls of my feet. I couldn't speak or move or breathe. Here was this perfect little boy looking at me with the exact same eyes that looked back at me from the mirror. People always talked about looking into your child's eyes the first time, but it hadn't ever made sense to me. Until now. In the second it took for our eyes to meet I knew I loved him more than even myself, and a wave of guilt washed over me.

"Are you my daddy?"

"Yes."


End file.
